Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
