sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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