none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
