My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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