I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I had to cum in my sink.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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