You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
