I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
