you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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