can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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