Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
