She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
