I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I want to be your penis for a week.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
we should paint friendship bongs
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
