Barsexuality is the new black.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Still dying that you shit outside
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
