It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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