I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
