New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
