Cold hands, warm shart.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well I just put wine in my tea
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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