Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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