i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize