If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
