and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
