is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
