You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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