grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize