Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
