Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
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Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
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He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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