She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
please come you make the beer taste better
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
