Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
