how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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