It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
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I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
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I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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