I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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