Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
