im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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