doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
