I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
40s are totally the cure
Come share oat with me in your robe
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
