You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
