So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
