the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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