she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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