Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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