You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
