p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Damn victory sex feels great
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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