stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
