a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
