But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize