we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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