If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
