Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
