just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize