She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
