so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
