Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
