why didn't you poke me back
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
