My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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