either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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