Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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