do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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