i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
