puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
