Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just high enough for therapy.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
