She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize